Our preferred method of mauling the enemy is always through guilt, although sarcasm, gallows humor, and a history of academic and artistic success, may actually be our best weapon.
If you work in Hollywood or New York you run a higher risk of becoming Jewish by association, and we can be surprisingly difficult to track.
No really though WereJews are those of us who go to shul on specific holidays and are vaguely fail-y the other 87% of the year.
If you’re concerned about spotting WereJews, look for a fondness for Seinfeld, sudden weeping over Chagall paintings, and an inexplicable love of films like Fiddler on the Roof.
Do not be fooled by the common belief in Chanukkah bushes; instead observe Chinese restaurants on Christmas day. Embarrassed blank looks at New Testament allusions may also be present.